blog 100.

11 Feb 2008

listening to your aching words my heart shows up its flaws
as the rain washes away my ash from the driveway at dawn
I return to my empty house where the smell of smoke is stale
I begin writing you a letter but words for actions fail

your perfume's on my pillow and your jacket's in my robe
I wist thoughts of yesterday as all dangled by a rope
when you left I wondered whether I'd forgive myself in time
and all that I remember are your final solemn lines

please don't leave me yet can't you hold me for a moment
I couldn't bring myself to even beg a kiss for my atonement
you were a stone in my bag of money and you weren't worth a bit
so once more I return to the rain outside my window and I sit

light another cigarette and pull my flask from my coat pocket
I try to drown my anguish and put my hands to my eye sockets
the black of thoughts that race my mind won't let me forget
and I pray that every single drop of whiskey hides my regret

I look up at the morning sky pouring down in the hazy weather
and hope it somehow cleanses me of all the ties I severed
'cause whilst I need to forget you and move on as much as possible
I can't shake the muddy feeling that all I'll ever be is horrible

a car drives by my street and for a second I think it's yours
and I'm not sure if you came back now that face I could ignore
'cause it floors me every time I think of how you're probably hurting
and in my mind all the scenarios where we might work I'm still exerting

perhaps in another situation in life for us there could be a future
and maybe time will be all we need to disinfect the wound and suture
but it's a gaping gash that's cutting at everything we know and are
and who knows how deep it goes and if we even can bear the scar

well it's not an easy choice to let you disappear and flee
but on the whole given time away I'm sure you'll eventually see
this life holds much more and for us respectively there's plenty left
and one day we may return as friends to repair this widening cleft