13 Feb 2008
On a hallmark holiday
you forgot all you had to say
so you bought me a card
as justice to break my heart
you wrote on it from you
and addressed it my name to
but you put in no thought
and obviously sought not
to allow yourself to get caught
in the ties of relation
that could spawn a creation
of a love and a kindness
that would always remind us
of a day that we made ours
when you gave me flowers
and I kissed you softly
and you slipped my dress off me
but I guess that you didnt want it
so let that thought be haunting
I didn't let you then leave me
I hid my tears and heaving
I bottled up my grieving
'cause that was our final evening
of valentine's ruined meaning
Saturday, May 3, 2008
roses are red, violets are blue. you don’t love me anymore. but i still love you.
on valentine’s day
13 Feb 2008
I went out to have a smoke on the porch and hide my disdain
but I locked myself outside and realised I'd have hours to wait
before anyone came home to open the door then wished I had a few cigarettes more
to keep me from the cold and the wind and the rain I cowered under my eve and thought I should've worn
something less plain like a coat or a scarf or a hat perhaps and pondered my day to help the time lapse.
Well away from my work and my music and home I found that my conscience was torn
between whether or not to go next door and face the neighbours scorn and use their telephone.
well I decided to call you, that it'd be worth the pain to face up to my shame and get warm.
when you answered and came round you seemed surprised having found me lying on my front lawn
I was smitten looking up at the stars getting soaking wet and catching pneumonia
when you arrived you picked me up and handed me a towel dragging me over to your car.
you put on the radio and asked me if I'd known that today was st valentine's
I said that I knew and it was my plan all along to get you here and make you mine.
though we've been here before it's just so hard to ignore on a day when I want to feel love.
well you said softly but there's no way we can let ourselves again. hating you once is tough enough.
I went out to have a smoke on the porch and hide my disdain
but I locked myself outside and realised I'd have hours to wait
before anyone came home to open the door then wished I had a few cigarettes more
to keep me from the cold and the wind and the rain I cowered under my eve and thought I should've worn
something less plain like a coat or a scarf or a hat perhaps and pondered my day to help the time lapse.
Well away from my work and my music and home I found that my conscience was torn
between whether or not to go next door and face the neighbours scorn and use their telephone.
well I decided to call you, that it'd be worth the pain to face up to my shame and get warm.
when you answered and came round you seemed surprised having found me lying on my front lawn
I was smitten looking up at the stars getting soaking wet and catching pneumonia
when you arrived you picked me up and handed me a towel dragging me over to your car.
you put on the radio and asked me if I'd known that today was st valentine's
I said that I knew and it was my plan all along to get you here and make you mine.
though we've been here before it's just so hard to ignore on a day when I want to feel love.
well you said softly but there's no way we can let ourselves again. hating you once is tough enough.
you’re not there anymore
12 Feb 2008
I guess I must be dead to you
even after all the years
you don't return my phone calls
that alone should make it clear
I spend my days trying to find you
and perhaps you don't mind to
know that from my thoughts
you've not yet disappeared
Your absence from my life sears deep
and my longing for you is rearing
I just can't contain any longer
the creeping steady storm of tears
all I want is for you to hear
what I have to plead
about how much I need
to know whether or not for so long
you treasured me the same
Was I to blame for our falling out
did I do or say something that caused you doubt
that we'd left our course of strong and steady
did you think perhaps I wasn't ready
did I not show you enough affection
was my neurosis like an infection
did I claustrophobe
and not enough show you
that I could stand on my own
Did you feel I was not secure
or my head too much a mess
I can't stop debating whether or not
you were waiting for me to pass the test
of companion over lover
or the falling for another
well I'll tell you now as clear as mud
I never came close, only you I loved
for cure of my relapsing heartache
you're my self prescribed overdose
Just come back to me and confess
that right now you love me so much less
than ever and you couldn't again
tell me since us you've seen other men
tell me that you don't think of us
and with me you want nothing more to do
tell me you've sieved me from your heart
hearing those words from you is the only way
I can start over with a ray of hope
I guess I must be dead to you
even after all the years
you don't return my phone calls
that alone should make it clear
I spend my days trying to find you
and perhaps you don't mind to
know that from my thoughts
you've not yet disappeared
Your absence from my life sears deep
and my longing for you is rearing
I just can't contain any longer
the creeping steady storm of tears
all I want is for you to hear
what I have to plead
about how much I need
to know whether or not for so long
you treasured me the same
Was I to blame for our falling out
did I do or say something that caused you doubt
that we'd left our course of strong and steady
did you think perhaps I wasn't ready
did I not show you enough affection
was my neurosis like an infection
did I claustrophobe
and not enough show you
that I could stand on my own
Did you feel I was not secure
or my head too much a mess
I can't stop debating whether or not
you were waiting for me to pass the test
of companion over lover
or the falling for another
well I'll tell you now as clear as mud
I never came close, only you I loved
for cure of my relapsing heartache
you're my self prescribed overdose
Just come back to me and confess
that right now you love me so much less
than ever and you couldn't again
tell me since us you've seen other men
tell me that you don't think of us
and with me you want nothing more to do
tell me you've sieved me from your heart
hearing those words from you is the only way
I can start over with a ray of hope
blog 100.
11 Feb 2008
listening to your aching words my heart shows up its flaws
as the rain washes away my ash from the driveway at dawn
I return to my empty house where the smell of smoke is stale
I begin writing you a letter but words for actions fail
your perfume's on my pillow and your jacket's in my robe
I wist thoughts of yesterday as all dangled by a rope
when you left I wondered whether I'd forgive myself in time
and all that I remember are your final solemn lines
please don't leave me yet can't you hold me for a moment
I couldn't bring myself to even beg a kiss for my atonement
you were a stone in my bag of money and you weren't worth a bit
so once more I return to the rain outside my window and I sit
light another cigarette and pull my flask from my coat pocket
I try to drown my anguish and put my hands to my eye sockets
the black of thoughts that race my mind won't let me forget
and I pray that every single drop of whiskey hides my regret
I look up at the morning sky pouring down in the hazy weather
and hope it somehow cleanses me of all the ties I severed
'cause whilst I need to forget you and move on as much as possible
I can't shake the muddy feeling that all I'll ever be is horrible
a car drives by my street and for a second I think it's yours
and I'm not sure if you came back now that face I could ignore
'cause it floors me every time I think of how you're probably hurting
and in my mind all the scenarios where we might work I'm still exerting
perhaps in another situation in life for us there could be a future
and maybe time will be all we need to disinfect the wound and suture
but it's a gaping gash that's cutting at everything we know and are
and who knows how deep it goes and if we even can bear the scar
well it's not an easy choice to let you disappear and flee
but on the whole given time away I'm sure you'll eventually see
this life holds much more and for us respectively there's plenty left
and one day we may return as friends to repair this widening cleft
listening to your aching words my heart shows up its flaws
as the rain washes away my ash from the driveway at dawn
I return to my empty house where the smell of smoke is stale
I begin writing you a letter but words for actions fail
your perfume's on my pillow and your jacket's in my robe
I wist thoughts of yesterday as all dangled by a rope
when you left I wondered whether I'd forgive myself in time
and all that I remember are your final solemn lines
please don't leave me yet can't you hold me for a moment
I couldn't bring myself to even beg a kiss for my atonement
you were a stone in my bag of money and you weren't worth a bit
so once more I return to the rain outside my window and I sit
light another cigarette and pull my flask from my coat pocket
I try to drown my anguish and put my hands to my eye sockets
the black of thoughts that race my mind won't let me forget
and I pray that every single drop of whiskey hides my regret
I look up at the morning sky pouring down in the hazy weather
and hope it somehow cleanses me of all the ties I severed
'cause whilst I need to forget you and move on as much as possible
I can't shake the muddy feeling that all I'll ever be is horrible
a car drives by my street and for a second I think it's yours
and I'm not sure if you came back now that face I could ignore
'cause it floors me every time I think of how you're probably hurting
and in my mind all the scenarios where we might work I'm still exerting
perhaps in another situation in life for us there could be a future
and maybe time will be all we need to disinfect the wound and suture
but it's a gaping gash that's cutting at everything we know and are
and who knows how deep it goes and if we even can bear the scar
well it's not an easy choice to let you disappear and flee
but on the whole given time away I'm sure you'll eventually see
this life holds much more and for us respectively there's plenty left
and one day we may return as friends to repair this widening cleft
butterfly
11 Feb 2008
you were a butterfly who flew close to me and somehow got snared
I tried to gently let you go but your wings just couldn't fare
they were damaged too easily and your flight drooped by the ground
I swooped beside you briefly and you fluttered to me a sound
a voice that pleaded softly how you thought I could help you feel
just connected for a moment you wanted to know if our love was a dream or real
the answer you required with so little time to spare
I breathed gently to your wings that I loved you and'll always care
but you're a butterfly and you've a course yet to be unveiled and flown
I cannot continue forever with you and I thought you would've known
that butterflies and bees can share a blossom or two in spring
but as the petals fade away there's nothing on the flower to cling
the wind has a way of moving everything along give it time and you'll mend
but as for you and I our season's set and I've other nectar to attend
you were a butterfly who flew close to me and somehow got snared
I tried to gently let you go but your wings just couldn't fare
they were damaged too easily and your flight drooped by the ground
I swooped beside you briefly and you fluttered to me a sound
a voice that pleaded softly how you thought I could help you feel
just connected for a moment you wanted to know if our love was a dream or real
the answer you required with so little time to spare
I breathed gently to your wings that I loved you and'll always care
but you're a butterfly and you've a course yet to be unveiled and flown
I cannot continue forever with you and I thought you would've known
that butterflies and bees can share a blossom or two in spring
but as the petals fade away there's nothing on the flower to cling
the wind has a way of moving everything along give it time and you'll mend
but as for you and I our season's set and I've other nectar to attend
tear apart the ties that bind. You're nothing not nearly one of a kind
10 Feb 2008
Four bedroom walls claustrophobe me and she leers naked; guarding the door
She demands sharply to know whether or not about her and I, I'm sure
Her query's same as always though, do I want the same as she does
So I tell the same old lie about us and typically as ever she can see right through
She's tiring of my shamble theories; of I'm sure that I will soon
I tell her that I don't fall in love that easy and her face burns up with roon
The choice is end it swiftly or stay our course to see what unfolds I suggest
To end it now we'll not know if we can resolve or put to rest
The lurking in her heart that I should feel something sooner more than later
That I must feel for her a deal that's greater than a friend or lover
What's her haste I contest contemptibly, what rush is there to know?
Come to bed, come now I plead where under the covers a care I can show
Four bedroom walls claustrophobe me and she leers naked; guarding the door
She demands sharply to know whether or not about her and I, I'm sure
Her query's same as always though, do I want the same as she does
So I tell the same old lie about us and typically as ever she can see right through
She's tiring of my shamble theories; of I'm sure that I will soon
I tell her that I don't fall in love that easy and her face burns up with roon
The choice is end it swiftly or stay our course to see what unfolds I suggest
To end it now we'll not know if we can resolve or put to rest
The lurking in her heart that I should feel something sooner more than later
That I must feel for her a deal that's greater than a friend or lover
What's her haste I contest contemptibly, what rush is there to know?
Come to bed, come now I plead where under the covers a care I can show
tantrum display. you can no longer prey
07 Feb 2008
you screamed at me the whore I am
you yelled your surety of my plans
to leave you for the arms of another
to depart with haste to a new lover
I jumped up and down at your lack of logic
at how for too long it didn't click
you and I were traveling paths separate
until finally you got desperate
you grabbed my arm and held it tight
I said release me I'm not fighting tonight
I'm off! I'm fleeing, to be away from your shit
you threw your fists up and your teeth were grit
for all of your antics you're still no dice
it's way too late to start being nice
or to win me over, I'm gone consider it so
you've had years and years your feelings to show
so fuck off! and fuck whatever you say!
on my heart and soul you'll no longer prey
I need to be cleansed of your rotting host
and you know my care is what you'll miss the most
but thats it you've blown every single chance I can give
I'm moving on I've got a life to live
you screamed at me the whore I am
you yelled your surety of my plans
to leave you for the arms of another
to depart with haste to a new lover
I jumped up and down at your lack of logic
at how for too long it didn't click
you and I were traveling paths separate
until finally you got desperate
you grabbed my arm and held it tight
I said release me I'm not fighting tonight
I'm off! I'm fleeing, to be away from your shit
you threw your fists up and your teeth were grit
for all of your antics you're still no dice
it's way too late to start being nice
or to win me over, I'm gone consider it so
you've had years and years your feelings to show
so fuck off! and fuck whatever you say!
on my heart and soul you'll no longer prey
I need to be cleansed of your rotting host
and you know my care is what you'll miss the most
but thats it you've blown every single chance I can give
I'm moving on I've got a life to live
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we're not strangers anymore
