How Do I Tell You, Lover: No?

how do I tell you no, lover?
there's no set way to know what I want
it's surely as yet and most likely never;
not love I want to show
you and I are as others
precedent now tired and wired to,
as marionettes, be obliged
what's set by life and a strive;
that as a good puppet show
pleases the crowd's expecting eye

but find out swift you do when the strings
become apparent and the act loses all tact
that to react to the tug and pull of resignation
will, with repetition true fact:
see snap and dangle in struggle
to know one's own weight under such collapse

the weight then bared, for given arms to fate
forsaken by the path well trod
or the belief in love like belief in God,
is anvil heavy with grief of reality
that we're all so alone and driven to pursue
romance, despite it's calamity

but for the above
and though what I know's not love
it is still not enough
for me to pull our twine undone
I can not claim to love you
but I can claim you a lover
and it's not nearly the same thing
though still being too much

for addition at the end of an 'r'
splits and separates the definition
love is given whether or not requited
but a lover only gives
affection for attention not to mention
to just feel alright
for as long as the other can make for the time
so my conflict endures for why
I want to say no but for now make you mine
how do I tell you lover, no?
when what I want to say
my actions won't show