Elevator

well, we took the hostel elevator together
at the end of late last night
you to your room at level four
and me to mine at level five
and I saw a look, brief but there
in your eyes when you whispered goodbye
that said, despite your kind words,
between us this was final

and mine to own were feelings
that should thin out with rationale
but as a moment alone of time
and given contexts; consumed me with passion
and as sure as I am of the fact
of not forever, I know one thing exact
the way you lifted my spirit high
and smiled and requited made me a man

and oh, the cost to wish to
being back in my time with you
I lack cure of funds to balance what love's done
to me to know without it what to do
I'm back on the road alone, stepping
trying to find another way through
each morning, each evening and each memory
that led right up to your leaving
I'm a whale: dying, flailing with my being
pierced by your silence's harpoon

we met under unusual circumstances
two Melbournians in Japan
traveling through separate cities
by coincidence we correlated plans
and landed at the same place
and by spark of words and forward actions
became quick acquainted with each other
and founded our lust's sanction

and things sped along as compressed
like this they tend to do
condensed and saturated in attention
seems it burns out soon
but too soon as this is soon enough
for me to feel as though it was not due
I wish I did not hate you now
or you me as much as true
but for the weight of that word
it is not regret, for it's end we always knew
but it's pattern or haste I did, could not
confidently, preemptively view

that night I caught the elevator
back down to your level
and stood there the doors open wide
but for moving my head hung heavy
and I paused just long enough
for the doors to close on me
and with moving on today I wish
that longing from me you could have seen

if, for long enough you just could have seen
if we, long enough each other could just have seen