Too Serious I Fear Too Soon

I can't look those in the eyes -
the serious- for fear of what lies
I might sprout to work my way out
of having to say something nice
suffice to say they're too alike
in the way that they make contact
and I can barely handle one,
as for ego compounded so strikes

of the two: I grew up with one;
the man I knew came to his own
but her not having known before him
I'm finding little to show
in the way of warm emotions
as intersecting is my perception
of a relation so unfolded in hope
with my unshakable skepticism

but not for fail of wanting, prevail
still does some discontentment
and with entrails of guilt I pretend
to enjoy at his every mention
of him and her together
and the history layered so quick, so well
but how to tell the truth of it;
that I don't feel what it is that they sell

I time-line all my loves;
have and will there's no escape expiration
I try to turn from my foresight
the doubt of forever as expectation
but will power's only so strong
and not long before I know I've taken
to thought of possibly their love's fake
but want so to be mistaken

there's less words for affirmation
than reassurance that I can say
I hate to think I play down this
but romantic happiness is not a plague
over confidence doesn't write the same
as wistful thinking gives conscience to claim
but chained to motives of harm less their love
am I than to say all the above face to face